will the real food writer please stand up?

all the hogwash we have writing “professionally”(or not for that matter*) about food in the ric, it looks like we finally have a real “professional” contender. if you are not reading this individual, than you should be. 

with directed opinion and a ” i don’t care if i offend the west end richmond moms – i don’t want to send them to a crappy restaurant.” air, we are getting the real and raw deal on some richmond restaurants. thank you.

 

*we (whinemedineme) fit right in here, people.  you know, with the hogwash…

food drive: feed your own.

here is where.

no need to tell ya why.

what is the ballyhoo about balliceaux?

we all know i like food. in every form. raw, local, organic, blah, blah.. serve it to me.  the press on this restaurant.. yeah, i had to go.

well, peeps.. while fantastic surroundings(wear your poshest because  the decor is no joke), three weeks in AND i am on the fence. 

the wait was astronomical. and frankly, misrepresented.  when you tell me. “it will be an hour” and i am cool with that, then don’t lie to me, honey.  this was a wait for everything. with FOUR people behind the front bar, you would think things would move a tad faster. there were THREE peeps behind the back bar. NOT SO MUCH.  i have been in a packed bar with this guy and waited less than ten for a cocktail that had a name. mel and shelby at buddy’s… ten deep and they are still slinging drinks.  i get it. this is not a bar.

now, lets talk food.  we worked a cheese plate. all local cheeses..while farm to table is the new jam and i am down, i still like to see what i am eating. five local cheeses for fifteen? where were they? there was very little cheese and a whole lot of menu write up. fyi, they make their own mozzerell. if you get enough to really taste it, email me. i would like to know if the salinity is on point. 

on to the menu: we ordered a lot. crispy seared rockfish, hot sauce lacquered tuna, rainbow trout, hanger steak, tandoori cauliflower, ham and cheese baguette, and forest mushroom and asparagus tart among other shtuff. 

 

we will start with the appetizers. the tandoori cauliflower, with it’s excellent spices, could have been..something more: more spice, more heat, more je ne sais quoi.. it just didn’t make it.  the forest mushroom tart: tart shell excellent, mushrooms splendid.. was there asparagus? cause we got none.  the sweet potato fries. call kitchen 64, apparently you guys are using the same recipe. the ham and cheese, outstanding. i would do it again.  

entrees. ugh, what a miss. two “fishes” being the trout and the rockfish, NOT good. when set down in front of us, so much super fish smell emanated that it was tough to eat the surrounding accompaniment. my dining companion actually gagged at the smell of her trout. 

on the bright side, the tuna.. utterly genius.  served with sweet potato fries (my suggestion- sub in the truffle fries if you can) , it is melt in your mouth delightful. a large portion of “julia roberts-pretty” tuna and fried oysters, it damn near made up for the other mishaps. 

the hanger steak inhaled. exactly as a onglet steak should be.. 

and dessert: honey flavored gelato, coconut cake, ice box lemon cake and churros. 

let me digress for a moment. the fish was bad. we sent it back. in the spirit of we are ok.. we will pay for our bad fish. we moved on. don’t as a server say: “let me bring you dessert ON US.”- pepper us with dessert and then charge us for all of them. i don’t want free food. and in all sincerity, four desserts is too much. (btw, we paid for the bad fish and ALL four desserts)

the coconut cake was good. the only dessert made in house, there is A LOT of coconut.  be forewarned.

the churros are worth a late night eat. the honey gelato, so very good.. but just go the the west end gelati place and buy yourself a cup. the ice box lemon cake.. mrs. fields has something similar and you can get it at food lion. 

 

my two cents on the new place.. right now, i can take it or leave it.. 

good luck, balliceux. cause pretty is what pretty does. 

 

*don’t goose me because they are new and there are kinks. bad fish is BAD fish. there is no two ways about it.

** a GREAT thing that i failed to mention above, our server was outstanding from a service perspective. she was attentive, knew the menu, made suggestions appropriately and was a general all-around delight.

zocalo: charlottesville brunch

a long weekend deserves brunch. it is a gift to sunday morning. this past weekend, i found exactly the present i would like to receive every brunch-able day. 

zocalo (means center of town in spanish) sits on the downtown mall in charlottesville. outside seating and sparse indoor granite and wood give the place a minimalist look. though dinner is spectacular here, brunch is the way to eat. 

a recent visit allowed me the opportunity to try their version of huevos rancheros. served with a staple they call black bean rice, the tomatillo sauce and chorizo make the dish. pleasantly green, the dish is a bit like a latin green eggs and ham. bold flavor comes from the large pieces of chorizo that pepper the slightly al dente rice that has been coated and paired with seasoned black beans. while huevos should be served runny, there were a few of us at the table that are “just not that into” easy eggs. without yolk, this dish still was a shiny star. 

other notable yum – beautiful egg, asparagus, and goat cheese (the scramble) and smoked salmon. the salmon served so simplistically – the innate attractive nature of the dish was enhanced by the sparse aesthetic. the dish didn’t stand a chance at our table.  another must have item – zocalo’s brunch potatoes. while the women in my family will boldly state “we have never met a potato we didn’t like.”, these potatoes should be a house-guest. in other words, i would like to have them for breakfast, lunch and dinner and introduce them to my friends. well seasoned and thinly sliced red potatoes (obviously, cooked with love), these are gems on a plate – a morning french fry..if you will. 

when there is time or you find yourself in c-ville on a sunday because of travel, whim, business or someone left you there, try the zocalo.

chinese food: the real deal

i am blessed with asian friends,  A LOT of really good asian friends. with this blessing comes the gift of authentic chinese food or as i like to call it.. SPICY awesomeness on a plate. i only have to relinquish my menu ordering and place it into the capable hands of my comrades.

here’s where we went: china star  note: this would not be my choice for chinese dinner. it isn’t even in my purview of chinese lunch.  i have re-adjusted. fyi, this place is packed for dinner. get yours to-go.

here’s what we ate: cumin lamb, fresh fish fillet with szechuan style spicy sauce, and noodle with shredded egg and pork (gan ban mein).

the cumin lamb (i have never ordered lamb from a chinese restaurant. AND this is because I AM AN IDIOT. this guy, however is not. ) was spectacular.  tender, rather large pieces of lamb served SPICY with fresh cumin seeds, this dish hit all the right spots.  had i not been with friends that would have fought me to lick the container, i would have lapped at it akin to a starved dog.

the fresh fish was a white fish coated with szechuan sauce. background on your szechuan (for those who want to know), native to szechuan province of china, this hot spice hails from the ash tree. though not cousins to the peppercorn family, szechuan “berries” look a tad like black peppercorns but contain a tiny seed. this pepper is also known as the anise pepper. the sauce (made from sichuan or szechuan.. depending on how you spell it) is made with these here peppers, oil, salt and garlic.  it can be called chili paste in asian cooking as well.  this fish was well coated in chili paste. the addition of sauteed bok choy and extra whole peppers produced “mouth on fire” goodness. the fish was expertly cooked in smaller pieces managing to be moist and flaky. i am still baffled as to the cooking procedure. while you can never have too much cow bell, you can have too much wok. 

the noodle was my favorite part of the whole experience.  just as an fyi, gan mein is the mandarin name for wheat noodle.  this wheat noodle was performing food acrobatics. ever-so-slightly al dente (again, SPICY), mixed with a seaweed, tender pork and egg, this shtuff was too damn good.  i took the leftovers home with me for breakfast. the chili sauce (while a tad bit oily) added connection between the meat and egg that i have not seen in an asian dish in richmond. the wheat noodle was the perfect vehicle to get this well-made relationship into my mouth.

now i have a kicker. NONE of this stuff is on the regular menu.  i know, i know – china star is a tease.

now find a cute asian and ask her to order for you.

a little chicken fiesta: with friends.

we rocked the fiesta yesterday. a bunch of us (seven to be exact) rolled to the new broad street locale in hopes of some real enlightening peruvian goodness.  was it goodness? i fence sit here.

i found that i was most interested in the fried yucca.  the chicken (i stole some of a buddies) was tasty and should be ordered to go and eaten outside whilst watching a band or picnicking. it could totally sub-in for your all american fried bird.

the fried yucca: it should eaten more frequently. fried in a shape similar to a mozzerell stick you would find at a friday’s – it must be ordered infrequently as it was the only thing on my plate that was served hot. judging by the lightening quick reach-over by me to a dining partner’s plate, his lunch suffered the same blight.  the yucca taste while similar to a potato wedge, it is stringier and airier  – lacking the gritty texture of a tuber. yucca is also rumored to be a digestive aid and possess anti-inflammatory benes. carry on!, little south american root vege.

the tacos i tried are a “could be much better” type of lunch. as stated above,  they were chilly. they were also filled with drier chicken than the rotisserie good stuff. a little more attention to the wet, wet lettuce and tomato would have left a structurally sound taco shell as opposed to drenched, soggy and virtually in-edible. the beans served along-side were less.. hmm, peruvian? and more cook-out with burgers and dogs.

the ambiance is a tad smokey like: “i am rocking a rotisserie and you came to eat here, so suck it.” not ” i am smoking a cigarette.’  lunch time is busy. this guy managed to sweet talk a few unsuspecting patrons into va-moosing from their large table so we could have a chair together.

i hoping that this egg will give you his take on the whole experience. he seems to really have a grasp on the chicken thing.

chicken fiesta has taken over the old taqueria del sol on broad and ain’t terrible for a lunch spot. will irun quickly back with friends (la milpa-style)?  no, probably not.

mezzanine: my two cents

i am jumping on this bandwagon. AND i don’t want to. the first time i went to mezzanine, it was fabulous. the thai dish i had was spectacular. the second time i went, it was alright. this last time, it was terrible. 

first, the place was packed. uncomfortably packed. instead of fighting the crowd, we decided to sit at the bar. 6plus6 ordered a petite syrah and i had the horton viognier that happened to be the wine special of the night. both were very nice. (i do wish that bartenders would pay attention to how they pour wine. i don’t want the last little bit from the bottle and then a little bit from a newly opened bottle.)

checking the large chalkboard, we ordered the oysters. there were four (as already been explained here). they were absolutely terrible. apparently, aioli in mezzanine language means: add mayonnaise. sriracha and mayonnaise married does not make an aioli and this marriage does not benefit from being heated up. the oysters do not experience heightened flavor by being cooked till hockey puck texture, either. 

our next mistake was in the form of large scallops. explained to us as scallops blt, we were curious. proscuitt and scallops together can be delightful. so we jumped in. the first time the entree (consisting of THREE LONE SCALLOPS?) made it to us, the scallops were very cold  and extraordinarily raw in the center. we sent them back. for some reason, the kitchen did not take this opportunity to PAY ATTENTION to how the dish should be prepared. when served to us a second time (absolutely caked in pepper), it was hot. had i been able to taste the scallop, perhaps i would have something positive to say. the eighteen dollars we paid for three scallops sitting on slices of yellow tomatoes coated in pepper just adds insult to injury. 

while the dinner portion of our night was patently a disaster, we did enjoy one of our small plates during the visit: a fried green tomato appetizer with crab salad. the tomatoes were prepared well and the breading, although heavy, was lovely. the crab salad accompanying the tomato slices was overwhelmingly fennel-y. (i mused that perhaps the use of such a strong herb was making up for few day old crab.) if served alone, the crab would have been entirely too strong but added to the tomato and bit of balsamic redux. – the match worked very well. 

no one offered to tell us the special which ironically (to me) happened to be fish tacos. nor were we asked about dessert. the act of congress to get one of the three bartenders at the tiny bar to bring us our check just turned us off. 

our check. this is frustrating. and it bothers me as i type. it may bother me for the next few weeks. FOR FOUR OYSTERS, THREE SCALLOPS, FOUR SLICES OF TOMATO…. 45 dollars. 45 DOLLARS. wtf?  absolutely unnecessary. 

how a restaurant stays a busy as this one with such sub-par food and such overprice is amazing..

dc dining.

first, thanks for the suggestions. we did some real eating and followed the chow-down with some mad walking. 

second, i am waiting on pictures. when my dc companion (let’s call him nikehoo) deems it convenient to send them in my direction – i’ll chat about the deliciousness that was our trip.

highlights: drinks at bourbon steak (michael mina is the man!). dinner at all of jose andre’s places – had to, people, had to. zatinya, being a stand-out. citronelle, oh the expense!, raku delish “asian diner”.  

i left dc a fat sack of fat. happy weekend!

ukrops: has everyone chatting.

i don’t have much to say on the matter, really.  

go here, though. this is brills – thecheckoutgirl weighs in.

bacon: in an odd form.

anyone tried this? http://www.bakonvodka.com/

made in oregon, this stuff looks errr.. fun. i would love to know if anyone has tried it and their thoughts. ????

sadly, i have been resigned to ordering it off the internets or waiting till i make it to the northwest.